I haven’t written in a while, so I thought I’d drop you a line. I’ve become quite concerned about your behaviour as Prime Minister. Your country is having a breakdown, both democratically and with its Charter of Rights and Freedoms. You may want to go back to the books, take a peek at what your duties really are. And put away 1984, it’s not a playbook.
The People are not happy. They talk as if you’ve become an autocrat. Remember in your youth, when Canada represented peacekeepers and defenders of the environment? Back then, our international representations used diplomacy rather than bullying to reach agreements. We drafted peace accords and hosted environment-focused conferences. What happened? You’re party is acting like a bunch of drunken eighteen-year-olds do when the parents leave on holiday.
Some blame your Conservative party for curtsying to the petroleum execs’ needs more than to the citizens’. And, I’m sorry to say it, but you’ve got to turn this tar sands thing off. It’s embarrassing. It’s an inferior product that barely makes up for the costs of refining it, and it’s literally killing us. Did you know that a leader that purposely lets his own people die has a name that starts with a D?
I realize that your oil pals give you a nice little pocket-stuffer for giving them so much free access to the land. Who wouldn’t be grateful? But I think that you’ve given over just a bit too much? I mean, who invites the neighbours over to dig up and toxify their back yard? That doesn’t build a very strong relationship. So why not put that little project on hold and look for something else to occupy you and your economic buddies. We can survive without turning our prairies into a wasteland.
Apparently, the truth hurts. Why else take a swipe against science, muzzling them like your MPs and silencing them like a despot? Unlike you, I like science. It’s done the body good. These people do important things and try to save our asses from our own doings. And yet you’re trying to stop them? What gives? And who benefits?
You’re a deceiver, and it robo-looks like you’ve swindled your way into your seat as well. And now you’ve thrown in a Fair Elections Act to take a few more citizens out of the democratic equation. Didn’t I say put that book away?
I’m sorry to hear your whole ‘senate reform’ got shot down by the Supreme Court. It looks like your little ‘appointment’ app is on the fritz. But I imagine you’re already making loophole notes for the next omnibus budget. You show that Supreme Court who’s the boss! You know that’s a whole other load of bitumen you’ve been cramming down the democratic throat.
You need to take a break. From what, I’m not sure because it hasn’t been happening in front of the cameras like it used to. Did you learn this from the Chinese propaganda minister or from watching Rob Ford’s exploits?
Take some time off. We can find some temporary foreign worker to fill in. Just leave them some notes. The same with those ever-obedient Members of Parliament, I think we can get anyone to represent clapping monkey toys that echo whatever script you give them. I don’t know about you, Stevie, but I might have to call this whole friendship off. Sorry pal.