The door is closing. This was a threat from a random guy that wanted me involved in some moneymaking scheme or business opportunity. This was his lure. Truthfully, I merely want a roof over my head in a home with working utilities. I want time to pursue my life’s passion. I want to learn and create.
I may have what’s considered a lackluster life. I own nothing but a few material possessions, keeping my house at bay from looking like a set in Hoarders. I never asked for so much stuff around the house, yet it happened.
Must I chase after the dollar? To what purpose? It has never done me much good having a lot of cash. If anything, it robbed me of my time. And why would I want to give away my life to random people who wish to exploit my skills just long enough for them to tire of or stop appreciating them?
In my early Twenties, I took up being an administrative assistant. It was a jack-of-all-trades position where if nobody else could do it, it was passed on to me. I thrived on the problem-solving needs and system building and I learned a lot from it. Then I burned out, as life stepped in to remind me that there was more to existence than work. There was also birth, death and relationships. At this time, everything flipped on me and I turned to a coping mechanism that came with a twist-off cap. They eventually fired me for coping too much.
I resumed life in retail and customer service. Retail never did much for me. I tried commission sales for a while. The corporate managers were assholes and didn’t care about my schooling at the time. My aspirations mattered not to their weekly projections. Spitefully, I quit that job at the peak of the Christmas rush. Never has a ‘fuck you’ felt so good.
I eventually found myself in construction. I was on my way to becoming a carpenter, spending six years in sun, rain and snow erecting homes and making healthy profits from my employers. Again, I thrived on it and learned something new almost daily. I was proficient enough to run a crew, to lay out a building, and to face a pit on a field and end up with a complete and well-crafted house. Then economic conditions fluctuated and I was let go, left to float around from company to company where I was always starting at the bottom. My skills were better than most, but it held no water against their papers indicating they were educated.
The job’s long hours left me exhausted by day’s end. The money was there, but life’s satisfaction was fleeting. I had to ask myself, Why would I want to rack my body with so many injuries when the long term prospects of this job just weren’t there. The toil on the body led to my exit.
So I have decided to live a life of passion over drudgery. I got the most out of jobs where there was a consistent learning curve, hence the distaste for retail. I find myself going back to restaurant service, both table service and bartending. While a carpenter, I missed the daily interaction with others. There has been some management, but again that was too much involvement of my time. I seem to value my time quite a lot, and why shouldn’t I?
Looking around at my library of nearly five hundred books, it is obvious that I value learning a lot. Education is vital for our society, but I sensed it lost its path when the local university tried raising my tuition by sixty percent. I quit because of this and that I haven’t found a field that matches what I wish to pursue. Our current education system breaks everything up into modules, but does little to patch it back together. We know how the world works, just not a lot on how it works together. This is what I’ve been studying.
As with all modern institutions, I found that education was going stale. Nothing’s changed in last couple of hundred years, much like our politics, economy, religion and social institutions. Only technology and the amount of knowledge have really changed, and these institutions have struggled to keep up. The old institutions have had a steady upward growth, but with a narrow, feeble base this expansion creates dangerous heights whose tumbling risks a domino effect with all the other institutions.
So, is the door closing? Nah! I turned my back on that door years ago. I’ve chosen a different door and have taken a much different path that makes little sense to the economically literate. My mind is in the future, sorting out the detritus that our current civilization will leave behind. It is also in the past looking at the points of divergence where we had a chance to take a more positive path. It is in the present looking for those positive paths, trying to find the language to best persuade others to follow. It is learning and constantly expanding my understanding of the world, finding the best actions to take to improve our culture. My passion is in opening this door for others to understand so we can proudly and confidently stride our way forward.